Chapter one

A slice, that's what the clouds let see of the moon, that night. A big, reddish slice. Many people wouldn't probably even notice it, many people perhaps, but not the two lovers who were walking hand in hand in the graveyard.

They were slowly walking, relishing each odour, observing how the reddish light of the moon played with the headstones and the trees creating shadows.

<Life on the Hellmouth: patrolling in a graveyard is romantic>

Willow Rosenberg thought with a smile. She softly sighed and squeezed tighter Spike's cold hand in hers. Their relationship was still new and they were learning to really know each other, although at times she almost felt like they had known each other forever.

The truth about Spike's real identity had been surprising to say the least, but she was learning to live with it. She was learning to live with a vampire who happened to be a spy.

They had been patrolling together, that was one of the things she loved more about Spike. He didn't treat her like a china doll; he didn't treat her as if she was fragile.

He knew where her frailties were, but he knew she had learned to take care of herself

"And besides, you took me down with a lamp once, Red...you're full of surprises..." he had told her once.

"I almost miss the failed heta7tanatos, this patrol is duller than a headstone, pun intended..." he mumbled.

"Perhaps Buffy and you didn't leave any demons ..." she replied, she grinned at him and said, "and I so don't miss heta7tanatos..."

Spike smiled at her and pulled her tighter at him, saying, "I know luv, but I don't like all this quiet..."

"Yep...who knew Giles and you were so similar? He's worried too..."

Spike shrugged and looking around said, "Habit, I guess...they taught us to fear moments like these, and now that you make me think about it, it's quite sad that their methods haven't changed since I was human..."

Willow shook her head and smiled circling his waist with an arm. Spike didn't often talk about when he was human, and she cherished each information, each piece of his past he decided to share with her.

She rested her head against the crook of his arm, and smiled when he grazed her hair and whispered, "I'd say we should leave...I'll take you to the dorm..."

She raised her head and playfully batted her eyelashes at him saying, "My hero...will you even tuck me to bed?"

Spike grinned at her and said, "Yes, but only if you are a very good witch..."

"I'm always good..." she replied grinning back at him.

"We'll see..." he said running his finger along the back of her neck.

They stopped walking and looked at each other for some long seconds, while Spike's fingers kept grazing her neck and face's skin with a feather-like caress.

She circled his waist with both her arms and whispered, "I won't be a good witch if you keep..."

She didn't finish her sentence, though; Spike gently tilted her chin up with a finger and silenced her with a kiss. It was a long, lingering kiss that soon grew with intensity. Her hands roamed through his back and went up to caress his hair. She could feel Spike's hand on her waist gently pulling her at him.

She almost couldn't believe they were together. She had silently loved him, desired him, for so long, without even hoping he had noticed her...and she still had troubles believing Spike really loved her.

When they lightly pulled away from each other and she could look into his eyes, her doubts faded, in his look she could just read love for her.

She smiled at him and huskily said, "What were you saying about taking me to the dorm? I know a Slayer who was going to spend the night with her honey..."

"I'd say we'd better hurry, then..." he said in a low voice, his hand was still on her waist, under her shirt, drawing little imaginary circles on her soft skin.

"Wanna make a run for it?" she happily asked, taking a step back and squeezing his hand in hers.

Spike rolled his eyes but couldn't help smiling at her. For the first time in longer he cared to remember he was truly, blissfully happy, granted, his dreams had been quite upsetting lately, but they were just dreams.

He had talked both to Giles and Eric about them, and they both thought they were just side effects of the failed heta7tanatos.

Giles had told him even Buffy and Xander had still nightmares about what had happened.

What were a few stupid nightmares if he felt more loved than he ever remembered being? Yet while he ran with Willow and heard her joyous laughter, he chose to ignore the voice in the back of his mind that reminded him that such happiness usually had a very high price to pay.

He squeezed tighter Willow's hand, feeling a ferocious surge of protectiveness toward the young woman he was in love with.

He felt something was coming for them, but he knew that when the moment would come, he would fight...

None of them noticed, the figure coming out from the shadows. The young woman leant against a tree. Her long blonde hair framed her face, giving her an almost angelic look, which contrasted with the sharp expression in her green eyes. She was dressed in large black trousers and an emerald green thin strapped top, a long black leather jacket hung on her shoulders.

She crossed her arms over her chest and let out a soft chuckle, "So she's the one, uh, William?"

She raised her head to the sky, her beautiful, angelic smile slowly faded into a demonic mask. She let out a coarse laughter and said, "Things are going to get quite interesting..."

*~~*~~*~~*~~*

Buffy was panting, a light veil of perspiration covered her face and torso, but she couldn't stop. Her movements grew with intensity.

She was feeling full of energy and strength, she felt like her heart was about to burst with it.

"Ow!" Giles' voice made her stop.

Buffy tucked away some damp locks from her brow, then knelt to help her lover on his feet.

If someone had told her a month before that a session of training could be such an erotic and exciting experience she would have probably laughed out loud, that was before Giles and she got together.

 Their new intimacy had helped their training; there was a familiarity and a confidence in each gesture and movement that added on her strength.

Giles smiled at her and said in his best watcher voice, "You did a remarkably good job, Buffy..." then with a twitch of his lips added, "Alas I'm afraid I shan't be able to move a single muscle for days... "

She rolled her eyes then said, "Aw, my poor old watcher, whatever can I do to ease the soreness in your muscles? I'll tell ya what, your precious, terrific, cunning, drop-dead gorgeous ..."

"And humble mostly, I see..." he said smiling

She arched an eyebrow at him and said, "Don't interrupt me, mister...as I was saying, your mega-fantabulous Slayer is going to use a less known power of hers..."

"That would be?" Giles asked crossing his arms over his chest. They were in Giles' living room; the furniture had been moved around the room, to give them space to train.

Buffy happily smiled at him and exclaimed with her infamous ta-da, gesture, "I'm Buffy masseuse extraordinaire!"

Giles chuckled and shook his head at her words. Buffy didn't ever cease to amaze him. She could be more mature than any person he knew one moment, and a moment later could be as carefree as all the women of her age.

He had to admit to himself, though, that he had been almost afraid of her while they had been training. Since they had returned from Sunnydale's tunnels, her strength seemed to have improved and her senses were much more honed.

She had trained more diligently and with more passion than ever. She had told him she wanted to learn more about the Slayer's powers.

He suspected it had something to do, with what had happened when he had been taken, she hadn't told him a lot about what had happened in the galleries, except that never had she felt her powers as strongly as during those three days.

Giles had decided to have a long talk with Spike about what had happened.

He already knew, though, that Spike wasn't going to tell him more than what Buffy had already done. Both Spike and Buffy were adamant in keeping what they had experienced in the galleries for themselves.

They had become very good friends and Giles, who had sometimes observed them while sparring, or training together had been surprised by how well they were able to read each other's minds, seeing them training together was always remarkable sight.

He still had troubles seeing Spike not as the enemy they had known for years, but as a full fledged ally...a friend to all of them.

"Hey, watcher o' mine, you still there?" Buffy's voice made him start.

He looked at the woman and smiled at her saying, "Yes, love...I got distracted"

"You think?" she said, getting close to him and circling his waist with her arms. She placed a kiss between his shoulder blades then said in a low voice, "Get on the couch, Rupert..."

He dramatically sighed and mumbled under his breath, "The things I do for you, luv..."

She tickled his sides saying, "Slayer's hearing, I heard that..."

He laughed and turned around, he looked into her eyes, and caressing her hair said, "I have a better idea, would you care to join me in the shower?"

Buffy grinned at him and said, "I like your ideas tonight...unscheduled training notwithstanding..."

"You had fun, though...as my soon to be purple arms could tell you..."

She circled his neck with her hands and whispered, "I'll tell you what, you wash my back and I'll kiss all those bruises better...deal?"

He softly kissed her forehead then said, "Deal..."

He surprised her scooping her up in his arms. She laughed and said, "Didn't you say you couldn't move a single muscle?"

"I feel *much* better, love..." he said, a ripperish gleam in his eyes.

She rested her head against his, while he headed toward the stairs and sighed, happy.

She closed her eyes and said, "It's been ages since the last time you took me in your arms..."

"I was so afraid for you, that day..." he said shaking his head.

She opened her eyes and lightly tilted his head on her side with a hand, "I stopped being afraid when you told me everything was going to be fine...I told you that day, do you remember? You were my god..." she grinned at him and added, "and I'm getting insufferably mushy, ain't I?"

He grinned back at her and said, "I do quite like it, though..."

Buffy's laughter echoed in the house, even after Giles closed the bathroom's door and it was the laughter of a woman deeply in love.

*~~*~~*~~*~~*

# They were again in the graveyard, just like the night before, Willow

 looked at him, her eyes full of love and trust

"Wanna make a run for it?" she asked.

He evilly smiled at her, while he felt his face stretching, changing into that of the demon that lived in his body, "Yes...run, little girl..."

Willow tried to run away from him, bur he grabbed her. He laughed when he heard the bones of her wrist cracking.

She cried out while he pulled her tight to him, forcing her head on a side, exposing her white, delicate neck.

"Don't do that, Spike..." she weakly said, "Please...I love you..."

He laughed harder when she said that, and sunk his fangs in her neck.

He felt her heart furiously pumping in her chest and her blood...warm, as sweet as honey, flowing in his throat, feeding him, filling him.

He felt Willow weakly writhing under him, her hands hitting his shoulders, her voice, begging him to stop.

He pulled away from her, her body went limp in his arms, and he knelt tightening her to him, while he realized what he had just done, when he realized he had let his demon taking over.

Blood red tears rolled on his cheeks, yet he could hear himself laughing at her when she weakly asked him, "Why? I thought you loved me..."

Spike laughed at the young dying woman, he laughed although he could feel a sob forming in his throat, there was amusement in his voice, yet he felt like breaking when he said, "Never trust a demon, pet...didn't I ever tell you that?"

Just when he was snapping her neck, he heard a female voice in the background whispering to him, "You can't fight your nature, what you really are...be yourself...let it free...let it live...” and her laughters joining his cries. #

Spike awoke with a start from Willow's arms. He didn't realize he had screamed, although he could still feel the sob that had formed in his throat during the nightmare.

 He swallowed, feeling breathless, which was in itself weird since he didn't have to breathe, yet his body didn't seem to remember that, he felt like what was left of his lungs were on fire.

 He irrationally took a deep breath. He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

He rested his head against the headboard and sighed. In the darkness of Willow's room, his mind's eyes kept reliving his nightmare. He shook his head and stretched a hand to turn on the lamp's switch

<You're a creature of the night, you ponce...since when are you afraid of darkness? Get a grip! It was just a dream...>

Spike sighed, again. What had scared most about the nightmare, hadn't been Willow's death...it had been the feeling of utter impotence he had felt...it had been the feeling of being ripped in two...by something...or someone.

~ You can't fight your nature, what you really are...be yourself...let it free...let it live...” and her laughters joining his cries. ~

"Bloody hell!" he mumbled.

 He knew that voice. He hated what it had been telling him. He hated the fact that, that voice had been talking to him in all of his dreams, lately.

"Spike?" Willow sleepily asked, slowly opening her eyes.

"Yes, luv?" he said, looking down at her. She was so incredibly beautiful and her eyes were always so full of love and trust for him, that he was tempted to look away.

<Great...you're turning into a bloody poof, you pathetic sod...>

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, get back to sleep, luv..." he reassured her.

Willow sat on the bed and rested her shoulders against the headboard. She looked at him for some long seconds then hugged her knees to her chest and said, "Not until you tell me what's going on...it can't be indigestion...unless the cow's blood you drank before patrol wasn't good and sorry, shutting up, now...so what's the what?"

"It's nothing, Red...just a bad dream...get back to sleep, now...I'll go and smoke a fag outside..." he said getting up from the bed.

"Skycladed?" she asked, arching an eyebrow at him.

"Skywhat?" he absently asked while looking around for his cigarettes.

"Naked...and you're not going anywhere Spike...please" she crawled toward the end of the bed and continued, "You woke up screaming...and you made a heck of a rumba while you were asleep...remember? We told each other no more secrets...please... "

Spike looked at her; she really looked worried for him that was something Spike wasn't used to any more. No one had ever worried for him for a long time.

< What in the bloody hell can I tell her? Oh, it was nothing, luv... just me dreaming of draining you and snapping your neck...get back to sleep now... ?>

He shook his head and sat next to her sighing. "It was just a really bad dream...nothing to worry your pretty head about..."

"When the man I love wakes up from a dream and he's a basket case, vampire or not I worry...and besides, you've been having bad dreams for weeks...c'mon you can tell me, I'm some kind of authority in bad dreams, by now..." She sought his hand and squeezed it in hers before saying, "I'll tell you what, if you're a good vampire and tell doctor Willow about your bad dream, I'll make hot cocoa with those little marshmallows you like so much...."

Spike smiled at her and gave a little squeeze to her hand before saying, "My demon...took over...and ... I killed you..."

A short silence fell in the room, a silence Spike didn't like, then she covered their joined hands with her other and said, "Bummer..."

He sadly chuckled at her words and asked, "I killed you in my dream and all you can say is 'bummer'?"

"It was a dream, Spike...granted, it sucked, it was horrible...and I'm really sorry it's upsetting you, but it's over, now..."

Spike weakly shook his head and said, "It felt so real..." he didn't tell her about the voice he had heard. He didn't tell her how scared he had been of himself...of losing the tight control he had on his demon.

She circled his shoulders with her arm and said, "It wasn't Spike...listen, would you ever hurt me?"

Spike tilted his head up and looked at her and without hesitate he answered, "I'd rather take a bath in holy water, Red..."

She wrinkled her nose and said, "Eew...bad image, not you taking a bath, 'cause I like that...and I'm rambling again, sorry..." she squeezed his shoulder with a hand and said, "That's all that matters...Spike, I fell in love with you long before even suspecting you hid a soul somewhere under all that bleach...and besides you told me, I already hit you with a lamp, in this very room once..."

They smiled at each other; Willow rested her head against his shoulder, and sighed against his bare skin. Spike closed his eyes. He could hear Willow's heart beating, had he ever heard such an exciting sound?

He brushed the skin of the back of her neck. It was incredible how soft her skin was, how tiny she was. He squeezed his eyes shut, when details of his nightmare vividly replayed in his mind

~ Her face was in his hands, with no effort he twisted it, snapping her neck, its sound mingled with his cries and that sinister laughter ~

Spike jerked his head up and opened his eyes, barely containing the urge to snarl. He lightly pulled away from Willow and tilting her chin up with a finger he said, "I want you to promise me something, Willow, promise me you will never, ever, hesitate to kill me if something bad happens..."

"You can't ask me of this..." she said.

"I can...I am...look Red, I'm not a saint...sacred duty and pesky soul notwithstanding I've killed human beings... and I've let my demon taking over...but I've never hurt someone I loved...well, except that time I almost choked Dru when Angelus was opening Achatala...and I don't really fancy pulling an Angelus with you...so promise me"

"I don't want to watch you die, ever again, Spike..." she seriously said.

Spike noticed how cracked her voice was. He pulled his hand free from hers and circled her waist with his arm saying, "Red, I may look alive, I may love life...but I'm dead...and I've been dead for a long time...”

"I know that" she whispered. She had heard that phrase so many times when she was under the spell, yet that time it sounded different. There was an intensity in Spike's words that had always lacked before.

She looked into his eyes; she could see the sincerity of the words he had told her, and what he hadn't voiced out loud.

She could see it wasn't death he was afraid of. She swallowed and said, "I promise you, Spike...but this doesn't mean I like it..."

He smiled at her and said, "Thank you, Red..."

"Don't you want to get back to sleep now?" she asked in a low voice.

Spike shook his head and said, "I'd better come back to my crypt, there are too many windows in this room, and the you killing me part was just a worst case scenario"

She pouted at him, yet her eyes were smiling when she complained, "Men! First they ask you to kill them, then they leave your bed!"

He snorted at her words and tickled her belly. She giggled and tickled him back on his lower back. They soon fell back on the bed, laughing.

Spike just loved the feeling of Willow's tiny body pressed against his. He marvelled at how she perfectly fitted in his arms, he loved the feeling of her warm silky skin against his cool one.

He loved her with an intensity that it kept surprising him. He took her face in his hands and long looked at her before saying, "I will never hurt you, Willow..."

She stretched a hand and grazed his soft lips with a finger. She smiled at him before saying, "I know...and I will never hurt you, either, Spike..." she maliciously grinned at him and added, "Unless you ask me very nicely..."

He chuckled and said, "I didn't know you were such a naughty girl, Red..."

"You were the one who said I was full of surprises..."

"I can't believe it! I created a monster..."

"Who is going to get very cranky, unless you kiss her..."

"As you wish M'Lady" he softly said before covering her mouth with his.

When he finally managed to pull away from her he whispered, "I'd better go, unless you want me to fit into an ashtray"

She sighed and said, "I'll see you at Giles' then..."

"Don't even remind me, I miss the secrecy of my calling...." He mumbled

She rolled her eyes and said, "Go...you...whiner...vampire!"

"Tzk, tzk...pet, watch your language..." he teased her while looking for his jeans that were half hidden under the bed.

He shunned his shirt, which Willow threw at him and took it from the floor. He quickly dressed smiling at Willow's appreciative glances and couldn't help asking, "See something you like, luv?"

"Hmm..." was her only reply.

Spike snorted while he put on his duster. He hated leaving Willow like that. Truth was, though, she was much safer in her dorm room than his crypt.

He got to the door and opened it, then turned toward the woman and said, "Get back to sleep, luv..."

She was kneeling at the centre of the bed, dressed only in one of his shirts, her hair was tousled, her lips were slightly swollen and her eyes bright with the afterglow of their lovemaking and the tears she was adamantly refusing to let fall.

Spike's non-existent breath caught in his throat. He smiled at her feeling like the biggest poof on the face of the Earth and not caring about it.

She nodded at him and whispered, “I will...but try to get some sleep, as well Spike..."

He smiled while he exited her room, closing the door behind his shoulders, but his smile quickly faded when he heard Willow's sigh and her muffled sobs.

He closed his eyes and placed his hands against the door.

He wished he could get back in her room, but he could already smell the dawn. He had to hurry, but first he had a phone call to make